Memories and Reflections

The original purpose of this web site was to advertise my Dad's real estate and auction company. With his death and thus, the closing of Renney Auction & Realty Company, I did not want to see the site come to an end (I being Jordan Renney Berryman, Bill's oldest daughter.) My Dad asked me to help him start a web site for his company several years ago and since he was not very oriented with computers or the internet, I gladly helped him with that request. And now, I do not want to discontinue its use. Instead, I have decided to turn renney.us into a site all about Bill Renney. A site where we can reflect, remember, and honor him. If anyone has content you would like for me to publish, send it to me! I welcome anything and everything about my Dad - I want to celebrate his life and honor his memory through this site with stories, photos, and reflections. While I realize that all of this is mostly for myself, to help my heart heal a little bit, I hope that you, too, will find some joy or some comfort when visiting these page. And so I begin.......

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2/7/12

Jake is participating in Hoops for Hearts in honor of his Poppy. Jake has done this activity for the past 2 years and Dad always contributed....who knew that now this worthy cause would be something that actually has a real connection to Dad, because his heart stopped working, causing his death. Jake will be wearing a picture of Poppy around my neck while he participates in the program :) This is his personal Hoops for Hearts page through the American Heart Association :)

http://honor.americanheart.org/site/TR/HoopsforHeart/MAA-Mid-AtlanticAffiliate?px=3181971&pg=personal&fr_id=1690

12/28/11
“Let us not measure our sorrow by their worth for then it will have no end”....my Mom sent me this Shakespearean quote today....and it has given me something to think about as I continue to deal with the loss of my Dad...I think that often times we feel that our sadness must equate to how much we loved the person...and so I really found a connection with this quote and wanted to share it~

“Let us not measure our sorrow by their worth for then
it will have no end”

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12/1/11
My cousin Allison introduced this song to me. It is a song that the singer Beyonce sings....and it is beautiful. I am so grateful that Allison sent it to me. She said it makes her think of my Dad...and I do to. Just listen to the words. The song is called "I was here" and it truly does depict what Dad would want to say, I think. Ignore the picture of Beyonce when you click on the link...just turn up your volume and listen:

Yes - he was here!

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10/19/11

Yesterday was 5 months since Dad passed away. I did ok - of course, as soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind wandered to the place where I start to get upset, and replay the events that happened that morning...it's like I have post traumatic stress disorder...it was an AWFUL morning, to hear Elizabeth scream inside the farm store, to hear Steve yell for me, to find Bizza curled up in the corner crying, not able to tell me...just so awful. But somehow we made it through all of that, although it doesn't seem to get too much easier just yet, with the passing days. This time of year was probably Dad's favorite, with the weather turning cooler and hunting season beginning. I miss not being able to show him the weird gourds or oddly shaped pumpkins that I find in the pumpkin field. I miss him not calling to ask me how much money we made at the farm each day and then hear him try to figure up exactly how much money we would make if we sold every pumpkin in the field. I miss not being able to send him silly photos, like the one that me and Betty took at the farm with the snake gourd. But yet, at the same time, I am GRATEFUL that I have all of those memories to miss. It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. I believe in this. So to end my thoughts with a happy memory, I have posted a photo below of Dad and Henry at the Picadilly Cafeteria in Colonial Heights. It was one of Dad's favorite places to eat. I also liked going there :) I remember eating there with Dad when I was 21, and telling him that I thought me and Steve would probably get engaged. And then several years later, eating there many times with Dad and Jake. So of course, when Henry got old enough, we had to take him too. Henry only got to go one time (one day when Jake was in school) but I am so thankful that I have this photo to share with him over the years. Henry and Jake love their Poppy so much - and they sent him a balloon up to Heaven yesterday. Before letting it go, Henry yelled "Poppy, are you ready?" and then after they released it, Jake told Steve "it just left the Earf (Earth)" - Hope you liked your balloon Dad!

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10/2/11

This photo was taken at the Surry Ruritan auction in March of 2009, before Henry was born, and just before Jake turned 3. We loved hearing Dad's auctioneering voice and how we always made us feel special by saying "hi" to us over the speaker! I think Dad has a toothbrush in his shirt pocket???? One of his trademark accessories :)
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9/20/11

This past weekend Steve and I looked through the barn at Dad's house and found some things that we wanted to keep at our farm, for the boys, and just for sentimentality. As you all know, Dad enjoyed saving "interesting" knick-knacks and we found lots of them in our looking. Dad also enjoyed saving his prescription bottles and filling them with various items, such as thumb-tacs, screws, breath mints, and money. I found 2 such bottles, one filled with very old pure silver dimes and the other filled with old indian head pennies. I immediately had the desire to call him and tell him what I had found....such an off feeling to feel, as your brain tried to correct the tugging in your heart. Sooooo many times each week do I come across things that make my brains say "I need to tell Dad"....and yet I cannot. I saw a man on his riding lawnmower today and for a second it was Dad, in his yard, doing what he loved. I remember when I was little I would cut grass with him...he would let me ride and we would cut and cut and cut until the sun went down and the bugs started biting. I remember the smell of the cut grass and how my hair felt as the evening dew began to fall upon us. I remember running over a snake one time and worrying that it would jump up and get my feet. That was the yard of the hosue that Dad made me cheeseburgers for breakfast and cornbread for snacks and the place where I had my own little library using all of Dad's old books. He was my only patron at that library. Suzanne tells me to let these memories get me through the sad days. But right now they make me sad...sad because I want so badly to have him here...yet all that remains of him are the memories. I know that one day they will bring me comfort but I guess right now I am still too sad. It truly is just so sad.

Suzanne shared with me a book that her niece Kendall gave to her. It is called "City Dog, Country Frog" - I sobbed like a baby after I read it.
Here is the link if you want to check it out:
http://www.amazon.com/City-Dog-Country-Frog-Willems/dp/1423103009

And one more thing....I am happy to report that my harvest spider (see 8/19 post below) made it through the hurricane we had last month. He was on the right side of my steps. But I had to move the planters for the storm and thus, his web was torn down. I managed to hang him and his web debri on the left side of the steps, in a bush we have planted there. And so it rained 15 inches and the wind blew 50mph...but dang if that harvest spider didn't get up and spin a beautiful web the day after the hurricane....I thought it was a good sign...from Dad of course.

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8/19/11

At Dad's memorial service, I learned that he really did not like spiders. My Uncle Jimmy told a funny story about my Dad trying to use the port-a-potty at the hunt club but not wanting to have any spiders drop down on him. Today, another memory came back to me that confirmed Dad's fear of spiders. I didn't understand it then, but it makes sense to me now, after hearing that story from the service. Last Fall at our farm, there was a very interesting spider in an intricate web, on the front door of our farm store. It looked like this (see photo).......

Well, I thought it was called a harvest spider and thought it was pretty cool. I took a photo with my cell phone and sent it to Dad. He was not as excited about the photo as I hoped he would be - he texted back something along the lines of "that creeps me out".....ha ha....now I know why! I just looked up some info and found out this spider is called a Argiope and lives in fields and gardens. It eats its web every night and rebuilds each day. They hang upside down and wait for prey and the male spider spins a zig-zag pattern on the web (you can see it in the photo above). Well guess what everybody! Poppy just might be friends with spiders now because he sent me one that is living RIGHT BESIDE MY FRONT DOOR....it looks just like the photo above except for the orange color on his legs is more of a pale pink. He is a "he" because he has the zig zag pattern on his web. So another sign from my Dad - thanks Dad! That spider will make me think of you every time I see him :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------9/20/11This past weekend Steve and I looked through the barn at Dad's house and found some things that we wanted to keep at our farm, for the boys, and just for sentimentality. As you all know, Dad enjoyed saving "interesting" knick-knacks and we found lots of them in our looking. Dad also enjoyed saving his prescription bottles and filling them with various items, such as thumb-tacs, screws, breath mints, and money. I found 2 such bottles, one filled with very old pure silver dimes and the other filled with old indian head pennies. I immediately had the desire to call him and tell him what I had found....such an off feeling to feel, as your brain tried to correct the tugging in your heart. Sooooo many times each week do I come across things that make my brains say "I need to tell Dad"....and yet I cannot. I saw a man on his riding lawnmower today and for a second it was Dad, in his yard, doing what he loved. I remember when I was little I would cut grass with him...he would let me ride and we would cut and cut and cut until the sun went down and the bugs started biting. I remember the smell of the cut grass and how my hair felt as the evening dew began to fall upon us. I remember running over a snake one time and worrying that it would jump up and get my feet. That was the yard of the hosue that Dad made me cheeseburgers for breakfast and cornbread for snacks and the place where I had my own little library using all of Dad's old books. He was my only patron at that library. Suzanne tells me to let these memories get me through the sad days. But right now they make me sad...sad because I want so badly to have him here...yet all that remains of him are the memories. I know that one day they will bring me comfort but I guess right now I am still too sad. It truly is just so sad. Suzanne shared with me a book that her niece Kendall gave to her. It is called "City Dog, Country Frog" - I sobbed like a baby after I read it. Here is the link if you want to check it out:And one more thing....I am happy to report that my harvest spider (see 8/19 post below) made it through the hurricane we had last month. He was on the right side of my steps. But I had to move the planters for the storm and thus, his web was torn down. I managed to hang him and his web debri on the left side of the steps, in a bush we have planted there. And so it rained 15 inches and the wind blew 50mph...but dang if that harvest spider didn't get up and spin a beautiful web the day after the hurricane....I thought it was a good sign...from Dad of course.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------8/19/11At Dad's memorial service, I learned that he really did not like spiders. My Uncle Jimmy told a funny story about my Dad trying to use the port-a-potty at the hunt club but not wanting to have any spiders drop down on him. Today, another memory came back to me that confirmed Dad's fear of spiders. I didn't understand it then, but it makes sense to me now, after hearing that story from the service. Last Fall at our farm, there was a very interesting spider in an intricate web, on the front door of our farm store. It looked like this (see photo).......Well, I thought it was called a harvest spider and thought it was pretty cool. I took a photo with my cell phone and sent it to Dad. He was not as excited about the photo as I hoped he would be - he texted back something along the lines of "that creeps me out".....ha ha....now I know why! I just looked up some info and found out this spider is called a Argiope and lives in fields and gardens. It eats its web every night and rebuilds each day. They hang upside down and wait for prey and the male spider spins a zig-zag pattern on the web (you can see it in the photo above). Well guess what everybody! Poppy just might be friends with spiders now because he sent me one that is living RIGHT BESIDE MY FRONT DOOR....it looks just like the photo above except for the orange color on his legs is more of a pale pink. He is a "he" because he has the zig zag pattern on his web. So another sign from my Dad - thanks Dad! That spider will make me think of you every time I see him :)

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8/13/11

SHACK tadpoles that we are raising....this guy, turned sideways, just sprouted his arms and legs. In about another day, he will crawl out of the water to try out his new lungs and then he will make a jump for it. I hope to get him back to the Shack before he jumps :) I found these tadpoles at the Shack in Dad's goldfish container (an old anchor cut in half I think???). We took 9 tadpoles and have 5 left- 1 already turned into a frog and jumped into our yard, 1 died and went to Heaven to live in Dad's goldfish container up there, and 2 got eaten by bigger tadpoles :)

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8/10/11

I had to write up a short article for our farm. It included words about my Dad so I thought I would share it with you. I think that Dad would be very proud of me and Steve for this:

College Run Farms is a pick-your-own farm located in Surry, Virginia. My husband Steve and I own and operate the farm and grow strawberries, blueberries, butter beans, sweet corn, melons, and pumpkins. Our customers can purchase our freshly picked products at our farm stand or go into the field and harvest their own fruits and veggies.

I have always been very conscious of not wasting produce at the farm. If we have an excess of a particular item, I will send it home with our farm staff, share it with family, or take it across the road to our farm neighbors. There is a local Food Pantry that I try to donate extra produce to and I know several people who have hogs who greatly enjoy over-ripe cantaloupes or extra large squash. When my father was living, he was famous for loading up his truck with our leftover products and delivering them to families in need. All of these acts of kindness made me very happy.

Recently, Ron Saacke, the head of the Farm Bureau Young Farmer’s program, put us in contact with the Foodbank of the Virginia Peninsulas. Their organization, along with the Society of St. Andrew, will visit local farms and glean the farmer’s fields in order to help feed the hungry. In case you did not know, gleaning is the act of going back into a field that has already been harvested, and gathering any usable produce that has been left behind. Michelle Benson was one of the members who contacted us directly about gleaning at our farm. Right away, we knew that we wanted and would be able to help.

On Wednesday, August the third, 2011, members and volunteers from the Virginia Peninsula Foodbank and the Society of St. Andrew arrived at our farm and went to work. They walked through the old section of sweet corn that we had finished harvesting a few days before and gleaned any ears of corn that had been left behind. It was hot and the corn was itchy, but they set up a tent, had plenty of water, and they went to work. When they were done, they had successfully gleaned over 1800 pounds of sweet corn. We weighed an ear of corn and figured that they probably picked over 2000 ears of corn that day! Just think – that might be 2 ears of corn for 1000 hungry people for dinner that night. That is a wonderful thought. They returned again today and were able to glean close to 800 ears of corn. The corn was loaded into boxes, and shipped off to shelters, soup kitchens, and food pantries throughout the Virginia Peninsula. And to think that in years past, all of that corn was going to the birds and bugs! We are so grateful to now be a part of this outstanding gleaning project and plan to stay in constant touch with the gleaners. We encourage other farms to get involved as well. Not a farmer? Become a gleaner and volunteer to help with this worthy cause. For more info, go to: www.endhunger.org or www.hrfoodbank.org

Jordan Berryman – College Run Farms

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7/1/11

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."Psalm 34:18

I saw a shooting star tonight, just now, on the way home from a late-night trip to the farm for something I forgot to do. Today has been an especially hard day. It is odd how some days I am fine, and others, well, not so much. Today was a hard day. And so that shooting star somehow brought me comfort. For I have found, that from the very first hours that my Dad was taken to Heaven, he has been sending us signs...signs that he is still very much ALIVE with us here, in our hearts. We all know how much Bill loved Nature and the outdoors. He loved most all flora and fauna (except for spiders in the outhouse at the hunt club, which I learned at his funeral)- And so it is through the things that he loved that his spirit lives on. And I truly believe, I HAVE to BELIEVE, that he is sending us signals, through Nature, to comfort us. In the first few days after his death, he sent me several signs: a bald eagle swooped down from the sky and nearly crashed into my windshield as I was driving down the road. I found a 4 leaf clover in Dad's yard and saw a teeny tiny baby praying mantis in one of Suzanne's plants by her garage. A black snake slithered into Dad's yard, near the temporary port-a-potty. Within the first couple of weeks he sent a rainbow, and a turtle, that Missy the dog picked up in her mouth and then somehow just disappeared after Suzanne let it loose. I had another bird encounter, this time with a beautiful, big owl, who was sitting slam in the middle of the road, in the middle of the day, and turned his head to look at me as I nearly hit him. I did not hit him, but I never saw him fly away. And tonight, a shooting star. I find comfort in these signs. I have to hold on to these signs. And my sweet Jake. His own special gift from his Poppy are feathers. Ever since Poppy died, Jake has been finding feathers EVERYWHERE. He will be outside playing and will bring in a feather....on the field at practice, he can barely catch the baseball because he is trying to hold onto a feather he just found. In the middle of a tball game, the child finds a feather. At the beach, at a friend's house.....Jake will find a feather every few days. And no, I don't think it is a coincidence. Jake and I believe that Poppy is sending these feathers down to him, as a reminder of his love. We have kept each feather, and they are displayed like a bouquet, in a vase. And I pray that in Jake's life, feathers will always hold a special place in his heart, that place where the memory of his Poppy will always be. And I pray that you, too, will embrace the signs that Bill is sending to you. They are there - you just have to allow yourself to see them.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."Psalm 34:18

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6/25/11 - A photo from Suzanne~

This was the first sunflower in Dad's garden this summer. Suzanne found it today, when she was watering the garden, and sent me this photograph. Bill always loved sunflowers and loved to grow them. One time he grew a field of them - not sure where that was but I took a photo the day he drove me there (I just didn't pay attention to where we were going that day) :) I enlarged the photo and framed it and it is hanging in Suzanne's and Dad's kitchen because Dad liked it so much! Dad's garden is such a blessing. He planted every single vegetable and flower that grows there - his hands touched each seed that grew into the lovely plants that we see- and how wonderful it is that we are allowed these gifts from him, even after he has left us!

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6/24/11
My little boys called my Dad by the name Poppy. Originally he was going to be Papa, because his Grandfather was Papa. But my oldest son, Jake, couldn't quite get it right and Poppy was the version that eventually stuck. I have it video, the first time Jake said "PAPA" and I remember sending it to my Dad via a cell phone video message (Dad was good at cell phone technology, just not computers)- But Papa turned into Poppy and that is what my 2nd born, Henry, also calls him. In this photo, which was taken at my house in July of 2010, Dad is holding Henry when he was just over 1 year old. I took the photograph because it was so sweet, how Henry was snuggling with his Poppy, and my Dad was just so happy to be able to hold him that way. One day not long before Dad died, we were at the strawberry patch and he was helping me watch Henry while I tended to customers (Jake was at school). Dad said to me "Maybe Henry will actually call me Papa." I told Dad that probably not - that Jake pretty much would pave the way for alot of trends that Henry would follow. I think that Dad loved the name Papa because it reminded him of his time with his own Papa, back in the day. (Correct me if I am wrong Nan and Betty, but wasn't it your Papa that taught you the little saying "Dig Taters - Dig Taters - Dig Taters...Anything coming? Hide in the basket!!!!"???? Well, Dad passed that down to me and I plan to pass it along to Jake and Henry.) I am so grateful that my 2 boys were allowed to know their Poppy. I am very afraid that Henry, being so young, will not remember him. I do not remember much from when I was 2. So I am determined to talk about him every day, show his photos and videos to him, and make SURE that Poppy stays ALIVE in both Henry and Jake's memories and hearts. I am so grateful for all of the times that my Dad just dropped by my house. He would always just come on in, without knocking, but I never cared. I would do anything for him to just barge on in, just one more time. But instead, I will honor the memory of that feeling, through this post about him. I love you Dad! Dig Taters, Dig Taters!
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